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Intimacy is the backbone of every relationship. Without which no relationship would survive. Couples that enjoy their relationships often share certain intimate habits reserved just for them. These habits are important, without the relationship would not last. And once you start practising these habits, it becomes an integral part of your relationship.
When we talk about intimacy in this context, we are not necessarily talking about a sexual encounter. Intimacy has to do with that special bond you share with your partner or spouse, which is vital in maintaining a strong and healthy relationship.
A happy relationship isn’t necessarily a perfect or problem-free one. In fact, there is nothing like a perfect relationship. For couples to maintain a happy relationship, they shouldn’t bother about striving for perfection, but rather learn to be happy embracing their flaws and differences.
Great relationships don’t just happen overnight…
It takes a great amount of effort, patience, care and endurance to be able to stay and love one person for a very long time.
To be happy and remain happy as a couple, you need to make a conscious decision to form certain intimate habits from the beginning of your relationship. These habits will not only make you happier, but they will make your relationship healthier and stronger.
So during my quest for happiness and fulfilment in my own relationship, I found out some great intimacy tips that couples often take for granted in their relationships, and I will be sharing them with you.
They share mutual respect and understanding
Sometimes when we get used to being with someone for so long, we tend to blur the line between respect and disrespect. Couples sometimes take respecting each other for granted which often leads to unnecessary fights.
Respecting your partner is an important form of intimate gesture which you should never overlook. No matter what, you should never disrespect your partner. Especially when they are open to you about their vulnerabilities and fears. You should never use their words or past against them. Never give them a reason to feel foolish for loving and trusting you by being disrespectful to them.
When you respect your partner, you are expressing your love, acceptance, and warmth. When you show disrespect, you are indirectly expressing the fact that you don’t accept your partner the way they are. Respecting your partner is all about accepting them for who they are, and embracing their flaws and differences.
Respect is not something that is given or sought after, rather it is something you earn from your partner. And you should understand that respect is totally different from fear. Your partner should never have any reason to fear you but should genuinely respect you out of the love they have for you. Your partner should respect you because they want to not because they are forced to.
They stand together
It is important to remember that even the happiest couples on earth are just two imperfect people with a relationship that also has its ups and downs. No matter how perfect a relationship might seem on the outside, there are always moments of doubts, fears and struggles.
Sometimes we need to remember that we are only humans after all. There will be times when your love will be put to test. So always remember your relationship will not always be rosy. It’s up to you to realise why you were ever with him in the first place.
Let’s face it, quitting is for losers. It’s the easy way out. One filled with eventual regrets. Instead of bringing out the divorce papers and calling it quits why not find a way around things. Remember the reason that made you say I do in the first place. Stand by him when everything seems to be going haywire and weather the storm together. Eventually, you will be glad you never gave up.
Sometimes we need to remember that humans are imperfect and at times they can lose confidence in themselves and forget how to be patient, caring and second guess things that they know. It happens to the best of us. We lose our temper when things are not going the way we planned. We stumble, we slip and spin out of control.
At times like this, our partners might be difficult to tolerate and we want to lash out at them but that’s not what they need. Your partner needs your love, care and support. So stand by your lover during the most difficult times.
They learn from each other
The ability to teach and learn from your partner is one intimate act that all couples should learn to commit to. There is so much we can learn from our partner in a relationship. For couples to be happy they have to accept their shortcomings and be willing to learn from each other to enable their relationship to grow. They have to let go of their fears and allow their partner to show them the way.
Through this process of learning new things from your partner, it gives space for you to grow closer and increases room for intimacy and long-lasting bond in your relationship.
Learning about your partner’s drawback and teaching them new ways to overcome it helps your partner to see you in a different light and it increases the love they have for you and helps you learn new things about them.
Getting rid of technological distractions
Let’s be honest, technology is a good thing. Thanks to technological advancements like social media and smartphones, we can easily stay in contact with our loved ones, no matter the distance. Although useful, technology can have a downside if misused.
These days most couples spend less time together, even when they are actually together. It is always a good thing to get rid of technological distractions when it home to enable you guys to spend more quality time together.
You and your partner shouldn’t always be in front of the TV every second of the day whenever you are at home together. Fine, there are some great shows out there to watch together, but i is a bad thing if you overdo it and allow it to consume your time.
By turning off the TV, you are able to sit down together and discuss your day and talk about your innermost thoughts and feelings instead of staring at the TV without saying a word to each other. It helps build an intimate connection with each other and creates understanding.
Turning off the TV is an important opportunity to talk to each other and to build on your communication skills and help you develop a strong habit of talking to each other about issues and not bury it within yourself and pile it up. With the tv off, you talk to each other and not shut each other out with the sound of the TV.
Another distraction couples often face is Social Media. Turning off social media can be a fun and intimate way to show your partner how important they are to you. As fun as it can be to show off your relationship on the internet, it’s important to know when enough is enough. Sometimes taking that extra step to put down the phone, unplug your computer, and spend quality time with your partner is essential. Keeping some things to yourself about your relationship is key to keeping one another happy.
Sometimes Social Media can do more harm than good to your relationship if not properly used. We tend to see the glamorous parts of relationships on social media without the downsides. This can give us unrealistic expectations about our own relationships, making us wonder why our relationship isn’t going perfectly which can make us unhappy about our own relationship.
So instead of being happy and creating happy memories with our partners, we tend to be moody and start doing a comparison to what we see online which might actually not even be real. Going off social media and focusing on your partner is a great way to form and create an intimate bond with him.
They are always positive
Being positive towards your partner helps build the connection between the two of you. Always be nice to your partner and never say hurtful things to them. Words are powerful and negative words have a way of building a wall between the two of you that might take time to break down. Expressing negatively include comparing your partner with other people or asking them to behave or act like others just to make you happy. This can affect the confidence of your partner in a rather negative way; making them doubt your love for them and even make them feel less confident.
Expressing a positive attitude to your partner like complimenting them, encouraging them, giving them assurances, and telling them how good they look on a regular basis helps to increase their confidence by basically letting them know you are always there for them in both good and bad times.
Negativity should never Find a way into your heart or your relationship. You should always leave room for positivity always in your love life and you will see how it helps to build your intimacy level.
Now here is a list of positive things you can do to always make your partner feel appreciated and loved;
- You can always make him know you are lucky to be with him. Don’t even make your partner feel that they don’t deserve you. Always make them feel special and important. Telling him you consider yourself lucky to be his wife is a great relationship booster.
- Make him know you have got his back. Try as much as possible to make him understand that you will always be his support system through thick and thin. He should always know that he will never be alone no matter what and that he will always have your support. Be his backbone and always encourage him in whatever he does. Be there for him even when the odds are stacked against him.
- Never ever miss the chance to always remind him of how much you love him. Always tell your partner you love him at the right moments when it counts, so he never feels left out and alone.
- Always make him know he is always in your mind and thoughts every single day. Try and check up on him even when he is at work. It could through be a text or a phone call, or even paying him a special visit at work during lunch break. Don’t always wait for him to call first or something. Make him understand that he always comes first in your life.
- Let him know you feel comfort and joy with him and you wouldn’t trade him being in your life for anything in the world.
They enjoy the moment together
Love is meant to be enjoyed. Sometimes life can get in the way, and you find yourself married, you have kids to take care of, work and so on, and you get carried away with the craziness of life. You find yourself getting preoccupied with life that you forget to actually enjoy your relationship.
You should always make time for your partner and relationship. Make sure you reach out to your partner no matter how busy you are. We sometimes have busy schedules that we find it hard to connect with our partners on a more intimate level.
For a happy, long-lasting relationship, a strong connection with our other half is crucial. It can be as simple as sending a loving text during your lunch break or giving your partner a call on the way home. This habit is meant to keep the connection and focus on your partner. Even if you have a hectic schedule, you can still take the time to send a text message or give your partner a phone call. Be creative. Think outside the box.
If you form the habit of ignoring your partner and neglecting your relationship, you are building a wall between you and your partner that would separate both of you permanently in the long run.
Sometimes due to busy schedules, we often forget to relax and enjoy the company of our partners. You can be sitting next to your partner but your mind and your thoughts are far away from them. In a relationship, distance is sometimes not measured in thoughts but in affection, so learn to form the habit of clearing your mind and making sure that when you are with your partner they have your full attention and your partner is the only thing you thinking of at that particular time.
They learn forgiveness and patience
The most beautiful form of intimacy is forgiveness and this habit is what most couples lack in their relationship. Forgiveness should be part of your relationship, saying sorry sincerely and meaning it is part of what makes a relationship beautiful and less toxic.
Apologies should be backed with patience and forgiveness, No matter how gentle, kind and honest you are, you will definitely offend your partner one way or the other. This is the truth of life, as nobody is perfect or mistake-free. We all must make blunders, learning from that blunder takes time and patience.
When you learn to genuinely forgive your partner after their errors it helps strengthen the bond of intimacy between you and your partner. Whenever your partner offends you and you find difficulty forgiving him, always know that no one is free from making mistakes, and tomorrow you might be the one who needs forgiving.
Forgiveness in a relationship doesn’t mean you get a free pass to do anything that directly or indirectly hurts your partner and then seek forgiveness afterwards knowing fully well that he will forgive you because he loves you. This is taking advantage of your partner’s love for you and doing this will cause more harm than good, because sometimes even when you are forgiven that trust might not be there again if you do things that continually hurts him.
Going with the flow
As a couple, you should be able to understand the changing flow in your relationship because you can’t move forward if you stand still in your relationship. Change is unavoidable and you can’t always have the same smooth sailing relationship you had in the beginning.
Couples experience hardship and difficulty as the relationship progresses. This changes the flow of things, and as a couple, you should know that the flow of your relationship is changing and it’s up to the both of you to move with the flow.
To create new and more beautiful memories from this new flow you can come out of it having an additional strong and beautiful bond. Sometimes don’t make plans just go with the flow and you will see how intimate and nice it can get. It is best to understand the changes in your relationship and just go with the shifting cycle.
When coming together with this list, different thoughts ran through my head as I remembered the good and bad times I have gone through with my partner. I remember how these tips helped me survive when I nearly lost faith in us, so I decided to write this and just maybe there are other couples out there who have intimacy issues and this might just be useful to them.
It is crucial to note that I am not saying this is foolproof or that it the only way to build on your intimacy, no I am just throwing light on some great intimate habits that have worked for several couples, including me, and so it just might help you out too.
Happiness comes from within. You and your partner need to find your own happy place and also it’s possible to improve on your love life by adopting positive habits and looking for new ways to improve and strengthen your intimacy.