This post may contain affiliate links. See the full affiliate disclosure here for more info.
What we say most times serves as a reflection of what we have got in our hearts. When we say we are hungry, it is from a conscious fact that “we need to eat”. In relationships speech is an important factor because it is a means to fuel communication.
However, there are some kinds of things we ought not to say. These things can break up colourful relationships in the long run.
“Always or Never”
This is because these words often spring up mostly when we try to establish a point or a fact in anger and most times they are rarely true. For example, “you never call me and I always text you!” The texture of anger can be felt from this sentence.
The speaker seems to be all about establishing a focal point of action which can be heartbreaking to the other party. The message is better communicated like this “I noticed you’ve been quite engaged with activities lately and you barely have time for yourself and other things like calling me”.
“You are Stupid”
It is real anger that can serve as the internal influence behind uttering the words “you are stupid”. Remember to take a chill pill when you feel emotionally worked up and really angry.
Your partner is not stupid, only that you feel overwhelmed by an act you consider “stupid”. There is a huge difference between “acts” and your “partner”. Keep your mouth controlled in anger.
“You are a Disgrace”
Now, that’s harsh! In the heat of the moment, keep quiet try to calm yourself down. The actual fact of things cannot be reasoned out in anger. When you utter such a statement, you can’t take them back and your partner might actually live like a disgrace all his/her life!
“You Should do This”
The fact that you’re a confidant to your partner does not give you license to become authoritarian. You should respect their decisions and give them privacy. When you force your opinions, you would not be listened to.
“I Wish I Never Met You”
Even when you feel disappointed at a thing, event or scenario, it is not right to wish “you had never met your partner”. Such a statement is capable of dampening self-esteem.
“Your Mum or Dad…”
Involving the parents of your partner in discussions to buttress a point might not make things work. Instead, it might further drive both of you crazy. Gently make your point, and leave the parents of both parties out of it.
“What did I do?”
Asking your partner consistently, “WHAT DID I DO NOW” sounds unappealing. It establishes the fact that you think the other party is given to nagging and so, to put it to their faces, you have to continually ask what you did to be vindictive.
“I Don’t Care”
You actually do care! But when you say you don’t care, even when you don’t mean it, you rip out the heart of your partner a hundred times over!
Words serve as a plane to lift relationships to a high altitude. With the right words, you can pull your relationship up.